NOR MA- LITE
'////m nnw \\\\\\\\v^// ///// // / ; 1 1 1 n\\\ \v^
19 2 5
Within the hall are song and laughter,
The cheeks of Christmas glow red and jolly, e
And sprouting on every corhel and rafter
The lightsome green of ivy and holly.
lames? ftustfell lotoell
Editor in Chief
M. A. A. Reporter
W. A. A. Reporter
Carroll E. Davenport
\ Fred Gentsch
} Mabel Vanslette
I Susan M. Williams
Henry J. Clancy
I Frank S. Livermore
Thomas Bowler Ferdinand Toupence
Raymond Pelletier Fred H. Gentsch
Merle G. Hall Raymond Ingham
C. E. Davenport
Gerd Aage Gillhoff
Mary E. Williams
Grace M. Can-
Gertrude I. McConville
Doris M. Chase
Mr. Kirkpa trick
Alice V. Cashman
THE EDITOR'S SUPPLICATION
By C. E. Davenport
If to your mind does spring
A bit o'humor, anything
Clever, witty, or bright,
Put it in the Norma-lite.
Write some little story
On valor, love, or glory
Of fair maid and bold knight;
Put it in the Norma-lite.
Mayhap 'tis a poem sad,
But it will make me glad;
If you but do the right,
Put it in the Norma-lite.
Those who aspire to teach,
'Tis you that I beseech
To do your bit. Write! Write! !
Put it in the Norma-lite.
By Mr. Kirkpatrick
"Use the intelligence you's bo'n
with", is a brief and true answer.
The first essential is to keep your
brain, which is the chief physiological
mechanism used in studying, in first
class condition. To keep it in good
working order the whole body must
be in perfect health and the blood
flowing to it, pure and well supplied
with oxygen. The brain should be
called upon to do only one piece of
work at a time and should be con-
centrated vigorously and exclusively
upon that. It must not be required
to work after fatigue has set in, and
after doing one piece of work it
should be allowed a short interval of
free activity before being set at an-
other task. If it becomes sluggish
after working awhile, a little vigorous
physical exercise will often enliven it,
because waste products are cleared
out of the brain by the freer cir-
Proper light, temperature and pos-
ture are helpful, as is also some
degree of quietness; but the latter is
not necessary if you can ignore all
noises as of no significance to you.
You should be alone or among those
who, whether quiet or not, never
demand your attention. If it is nec-
essary to give attention to some-
thing other than the task in hand,
do so completely, then turn again
quickly to your task. Do not try
to work while giving half your
attention to something else.
In preparing a lesson get full ben-
efit of your former knowledge and
experience by first noting the topic
and thinking of what you already
know about it. As you read, look
for the more important facts or
questions being discussed, and con-
nect these with any knowledge that
you already have about them. You
will be helped in this by making an
outline of what you study and by
stating in your own words the chief
facts or truths belonging with each
topic. Try to group and arrange
the material so that minor points may
be included under larger headings.
Think how the truths could be il-
lustrated from your own knowledge
and supplemented by further obser-
vation or reading. Go over the
lesson a second time, noting how one
topic is related to the others and
what would be the effect of rearrang-
ing their order. To make sure that
you will recall the truths when
needed, connect them with names,
questions or situations in which they
are likely to occur when you need
them. Review lessons briefly the
next day after studying them and
review this lessson along with others,
after some weeks or months.
At all times be alert to connect
lessons in various subjects with each
other and with your reading, the
conversation you hear and with your
observations. Seek to use what you
have learned in conversing with
others, in writing papers and in
If you will think just how many
of these suggestions you success-
fully conformed to. in studying the
last lesson before reading this, or in
the first one afterwards, you will
find out how useful they are and
how easy or difficult it is to carry
them out and you will be carrying
out one of them. Which one? If
you give names to each of these
paragraphs and count the number of
points under each, what suggestion
will you be carrying out?
Bill Daley claims he is the original
It seems that Bill took two days
off to vote and then he completely
forgot to put his name on the ballot.
At least, that is what he says.
By Mary Carmody
With the reopening of school we
have among us many new, eager
students who, by their loyalty and
school spirit will not only continue
but strengthen the reputation held
by Fitchburg Normal in the past.
First, school spirit is loyalty to our
school. And loyalty, besides being
a patriotic emotion of fidelity, ad-
miration, and respect for our country,
state or school is really a duty. It
is a duty because it is a vital element
in every school, for if a person does
not possess this devotion, or loyalty
to the school of which he is a pupil,
he is not a vital part of the school.
Now school spirit is not only a
duty, it is also an emotion which
many doubt whether or not they
possess. The surest proof then of
whether we possess it or not is by
practical demonstration; namely, in-
terest in our school's scholastic and
athletic activities. We must keep
our scholastic athletic activities up to
the standard, never letting them for
one minute fall below. We must
show our interest in athletics by
taking an interest in the various
teams. Be a member of some team
if you can, or at least show your
school spirit by attending the games
and cheering your teams to victory.
There is so much to be said in
favor of vocal support. Let us look
back to the recent foot-ball games,
bleachers lined with young men and
women, eyes glued on the swaying,
grappling, dust-covered figures on
that field. W T hat was the part of
those spectators? To support their
team with their enthusiastic voices.
As the old Greek philosopher said,
"A man knows not himself," but
will be exerted to greater efforts
if he can hear the applause and
encouragement of his schoolmates
and knows that he is not fighting
alone for his school, but is supported
at least by the student body.
So it is hoped that the new mem-
bers of our school will heed our
words, and by showing their school
spirit give to their school the aid
that it needs. For it is in you, the
Juniors, that we place our hope and
trust, for you are the builders of
Fitchburg Normal's future.
OF BEING AMUSED
By Mary E. Williams
The man without a sense of humor
is as unfortunate as "The Man With-
out a Country." Perhaps he has
reached his success at the top of the
ladder; perhaps the desire of his life
has been fulfilled; perhaps he is at
peace with the world. But he has
my heartfelt sympathies, for without
a sense of humor he has nothing.
It is indeed one of the most val-
uable assets in our lives. What about
our deep sorrows and disappoint-
ments when we feel we cannot bear
up under the stress of our hardships?
It is that little grain of fun which
rescues us from floundering in the
deep sea of despair.
And it is not so often the big
troubles but the little trials and trib-
ulations that come to us in our every
day life. Suppose we could see
nothing amusing in the grotesque
tumble we took at the very feet of
the new superintendent, upon whom
we wanted to make such a good im-
pression, too. That mortifying
incident might remain with us for
weeks or even months were it not for
the fact that we could laugh at the
very absurdity of it.
Is it not amusingly odd that the
very morning we get up late our
shoe lacings are sure to break, there
is a long dropstitch in our best black
stocking, our clothes persist in going
on the wrong side out and our fav-
orite scarf pin is nowhere to be
It is too true that our sense of
humor may often limes prove ex-
ceedingly embarrassing. It is indeed
distressing when in the most solemn
part of the sermon we feel that
persistent desire to giggle at the fly
which is tickling the minister's nose.
Or at the very climax of the noted
lecturer's discourse, someone sneezes
violently. Laughing up our sleeve
certainly isn't much of a compen-
But even so there is no better
life saver than the sense of humor.
May we all abide by this motto:
Laugh and the world laughs with you,
Kick and you kick alone,
For the cheerful grin will let you in,
Where the kicker is never known.
THE QUEEN OF THE SKY
By Lillian Brewster
The queen of the sky is riding high,
Come, throw her a kiss as she goes by,
Then sleep, my baby, and dream, my lad,
Dreams that are tender, and youthful and
And the queen afar in her silver car,
Sends a message down by a glittering star,
The wee, bright thing slips through the
And stops to rest in my darling's eyes.
It leaves its message and speeds through
the night —
My little one smiles and his face is bright
As he lifts his head and whispers this,
"The queen sends thanks for her good-
By Mr. Harrington
How urgently we dash around
after the '-latest", whether it be song.
dance or breakfast-food; a way to
carve our hair or dye our shirts.
How restlessly we rush from the
place where we are, to the place
where t. e have never been — to the
uttermost parts of the earth, if we
have money enough. But we find
the song never late enough, the place
never far enough, the style never new
enough, to give the happiness we
crave. Some of us then fold our
features into a world-weary look, and
announce that, though still young,
we have done all, been all, seen all,
and, having found it all "old stuff",
must decline to give attention to any
thought, emotion, or so-called phe-
nomenon which may arise from then
on. Some of us continue to dash
from one new thriller to another, and
are never etill long enough to find
that we are unhappy until we are
too tired to flutter longer. All of
this comes from the assumption that
if we could find something complete-
ly original, new, to do or think or
see, we could really attain to happi-
ness ; and the trouble is that of course
there is nothing new to find, either
in the little or the great things. The
new wrinkles in Mah-Jongg are some
four centuries old ; Joan of Arc
bobbed he*- hair ; Joseph wore a
coat of many colors ; Columbus
found a new world — filled with a
race of men as ancient as his own;
we lister: over the radio — and hear
no new voice or music. Trees and
mountains, sunrise and sunset, stars
and moonlight, the roar of the sea,
and the sighing of the wind, are
what they have been. Life and love
and death, and all their combinations,
ire old as the hills and the seas.
Originality, in this sense, can only
belong to the Creator.
For human beings, the only origi-
nality that can be discovered is that
within themselves. Homer and
Shakespere, whom the race has
agreed to credit with the supreme
degree of human originality, did not
even pretend to be writing anything
new. The one retold the legends of
his people, already handed down for
many generations; the other borrow-
ed tales from any collection that
came his way. Simply this: where
others had seen but the same old
tales, they, seeing for themselves,
saw living men and women, and, in
their retelling, lend us their senses
and sympathies that we may see
flesh and blood and throbbing hearts
where had walked but puppets and
As with them, so with us, the
originality, and consequently the
happiness, lies not in the newness of
the thing seen, but in the newness
of the seer.
The things that are worth while
are old; man, because he is man,
has owned them for ages; but for
each of us the making them our
own is an original creative act. If
we can bend our strength, not to
chasing novelties, but to creating
within the old eternal things, life will
remain fresh, each day a time of
eager adventure. In teaching, we
cover the same content year after
year, but each new child's acqui-
sition of it offers us a new and
And, finally, however small our
own creative ability, yet we have
given to us, because we are human,
to create with the aid of the masters
in pictures and books and music,
who could sense clearly what we
can grasp but dimly; but whose
record of what they sensed we can
make our own.
Can you imagine Homer, old and
helpless and blind, finding life turned
stale? He, who could build within
himself a very world of living men?
By Mary Carmody
Student Government, a toast to
you! Like a sturdy little ship that
starts out on a stormy sea and weath-
ers the tempests day after day, until
finally the sea becomes calm and the
ship proceeds triumphantly, so are
you, cautiously and hopefully steer-
ing through the sea of trials, and,
backed by strong winds of co-oper-
ation, you sail on nearer and nearer
the harbor of complete success.
We have watched you grow, and
our pride in you and co-operation
with you will never cease. Each one
of us forms a binding link in that
great chain of mutual interest that
once broken, is broken forever, but
which with us, students of Fitchburg
Normal School, will stay firm as the
"Rock of Ages."
By Mary Marsh
There was a time when hope gleamed high
Like a blue white star in a winter sky.
And up a rough and rugged steep
A traveler trudged, the world below asleep.
The winter passed,
And spring stole by,
And still the star hung in the sky.
The summer came so soft and still —
And the star hung over the distant hill.
Then, like a chariot of the night
It fell, and left a trail of light.
The traveler, weary with many a mile
Looked up, and saw it fall
By Doris M. Chase
I love to build a fire at night,
And watch the smoke a-curling,
To see the strange ethereal light,
Towards heavens stars unfurling.
In the flames, down near the embers
Is the birth of a dream come true,
Higher it rises and higher
Till in its spell I cannot move.
Then like a dream it fades and dies,
The orange to grey is blended,
Until it reaches the peaks of the stars,
And I know that my dream is ended.
* * * *
Someone has suggested that the
following signs be placed on the
Fords of Mr. Harrington and Mr.
"The tin you love to touch."
Let no man put asunder.
There is beauty in every jar.
Let the rest of the world go by.
Why buy baby a rattle?
Don't call me Lizzie.
Sound value, Don't you hear it?
CHRISTMAS A MILESTONE
By Mr. Parkinson
Ever since man began to measure
time at all it has been his custom to
set apart certain days on which to
remind himself of some great event
of the past and to relay to posterity
the lessons he derives from that
event. Christmas is the day of all
days observed the world around, more
widely over the earth's surface, if
not by more of its people, than any
other day of the year. It is celebra-
ted as the birthday of The Child Of
The Manger, although nobody knows
that it is the correct date. New
Year's Day is also assumed to be the
anniversary of the birth of Jesus,
from which our years purport to be
numbered. Both days derive their
significance from the same great
event, although both dates are un-
certain and even the years are prob-
ably numbered wrong. But fortun-
ately the real significance of a day
or season does not rest upon the
precision of an ancient or a modern
calendar. The Christmas season
has been accepted as marking the
advent of Joy To The World. It
is the season for the spread of Good
Will Among Men. Christmas is
The Day Of The Child and those
who would, "become as little child-
ren," and so qualify for a part in
that Kingdom for whose coming
Christians are taught to pray. It is
the time when all about us are bend-
ing energies to discovering how to
give pleasure to certain others. No
doubt many are making the quest
for pleasing gifts too much a burden,
and perhaps other motives than the
promotion of happiness sometimes
enter into our observance of the day.
Custom makes slaves of us in this
as in other things. But who among
us is not better for reminding him-
self once a year of all the friends
that are his, and devoting himself
for a season to the happiness of
those friends, and particularly to the
happiness of little children.
For ever since that day of old
when the light of a new vision broke
through the gloom of fear and hate,
suspicion and cunning, oppression
and slavery that once darkened the
world, the little child has been to
humanity more and more the symbol
of trust and innocence and freedom,
and of all that go to make up the
perfect day to which we look forward
for this world in the far future, and
for ourselves and our loved ones in
the world to come.
In wishing one another a Merry
Christmas and A Happy New Year
we are wishing for a finer and a
better world. Let us saturate our-
selves in that wish and work toward
it the year around, charging our bat-
teries anew each year with the
Christmas spirit and giving free play
to that spirit as the years roll on,
so that each passing Christmas shall
find us, not where the previous one
found us, but a full revolution far-
ther on toward "the city that hath
Firpo — "I'm not as dumb as I
Bohaker — "I realize that is an
Great men have been among us ; hands have penned and tongues have uttered
wisdom — tVads*ivorth
ON WEARING NEW SHOES
By Claire Fisher
Show me a normal human being,
old or young, brilliant or dull, pop-
ular or unpopular, who has not at
one time or another felt as though
he were walking on his nose. We
have all suffered untold agonies and
painful self-consciousness just be-
cause we were wearing a pair of old
shoes. Yet, those shoes may have
been beautiful in the days of their
youth. But now that they are old
and in a weakened condition, we are
very much ashamed of them.
It is in this frame of mind that
we finally decide to pilfer our dime
bank and saunter forth in quest of
new and a la mode footwear.
After buying a pair of shoes which
we are sure are the latest fashion
and which we think fit our feet and
our pocketbook, we wend our way
joyfully home with the precious bun-
dle under our arm. We take them
out and gaze pridefully upon their
shining surfaces and even go so far
as to say that they are worth the
fabulous sum we paid for them.
The next day we take out the old
shoes from their night's resting place
under the bed and disdainfully sniff
as we notice the run-down beds.
Coming to a hasty decision, we throw
them into a corner of the closet
and take out our new shoes. Oh,
deceitful things, if one could but
read beneath your shining surface!
We don them and start down-town
with our heads in the air and our
hearts singing merrily within us.
But woe unto the poor mortal who
tries to subordinate his feet in favor
of style, for he is quickly made to
suffer. The first symptom is a chok-
ing feeling around our walking
appendages. This, we excuse by
muttering to ourselves that that feel-
ing is because they are new. We
smile sweetly at Mrs. Jones and stop
to inquire after the health of her
child who is recovering from measles.
Mrs. Jones immediately begins a de-
tailed account of the how, when, and
where of Johnny's measles, and we
summon all our self-control and will-
power to our aid in trying to silence
the groaning of our feet. We take
our leave of Mrs. Jones and board
a street car, city-bound. Alas!
Just as we expected! Not a seat
available and we try to console our-
selves with the pleasant thought that
it is only a half hour's ride to our
destination. So we sway backwards
and forwards, first standing on our
right foot , then on our left. We try
to lean heavily on the seat-back near
us so that some of our weight will
be taken off our feet, and we grumble
about the car service, people who
joggle one constantly, and of the
world in general. Just then the car
jolts and our two hundred and fifty-
pound neighbor plants his number
nine shoe directly on our right foot.
Our poor feet scream so that we
think that all the passengers in the
car can hear them, and we struggle
with our facial expression and our
voice to answer, "Certainly," to the
man's, "Pardon me." However, if
we were to say out loud the things
we are thinking, all the ladies would
promptly leave the car. Meanwhile
shooting pains play leap frog inside
our shoes, and we nearly faint from
shear exhaustion. But being of a
bulldog nature we manage to live
until we get off the street car and
into the office.
Then, without any regard for our
fellow employees, we madly tear the
shoes off our burning feet and throw
them just as far as we can. We lean
back and let our toes breathe in
the fresh air and solemnly invoke the
heavens to bear witness to the state-
ment that we are never again going
to wear new shoes.
By Betty Saltzman
The debating season was opened
by a three cornered political debate
held on a most timely date, Novem-
ber 4, Election Day. The Progres-
sive Party upheld by Senior P. A.
and the Democratic Party represent-
ed by J. H. S. IV were defeated in a
most evenly matched and hard fought
debate, by the Republican Party,
championed by Senior I.
The Juniors were allowed for the
first time this year to show their
debating mettle on December 4, when
Juniors I and II met to debate the
subject, Resolved: That the Phil-
lippines should be given immediate
independence. Instead of the usual
method of rendering the decision by
a board of three Judges, novelty was
introduced by letting the student
body vote on the merits of the de-
Junior I proved victorious by a
vote of 133 to 69.
The schedule for the remaining
inter-divisional debates, the dates of
which are somewhat tentative, fol-
Dec. 11 Senior II versus. Senior II P. A.
Dec. 18 Junior III " Junior P. A.
Jan. 8 Junior IV " Junior V
The selection of the school team
by members of the board of judges
will be announced shortly after the
last debate. Plans are being made
for a debate with our last year's
rival, Keene, N. H. Normal.
Mr. Akeley — "Now, I'll ask the
kind of questions they ask in Junior
High. Can you answer this one,
Miss Williams: "What is your
favorite masterpiece in English liter-
M. Kempton — "The Sheik."
By Betty Saltzman
The importance of an activity is
judged by value received. Debat-
ing, therefore, is of the utmost im-
portance. Debating is the "Open
Sesame" to confidence, one of the
acknowledged attributes of a suc-
cessful person. One of the best ways
to gain the ability to stand on both
feet and express your opinion on a
subject, is by debating. You can-
not learn to speak through books.
You must gain this ability through
practice — and debating gives that
Remember, all orators were born
— but very few are born orators.
Practically every individual has to
acquire this ability to speak, and
with it, the habit of logic. Debating
probably more than any other form
of discourse makes you, through
thinking along logical and coherent
lines, talk along such lines.
Fortunately, this school has real-
ized to some extent these few facts
relative to the importance of debat-
ing. The Council composed of one
representative from each division,
has been duly pleased with the in-
terest shown in this activity.
That greater majority of students
who are unable to take active part
in that most beneficial of activities,
debating, can and should lend their
moral support by attending the de-
bates. Just as a foot-ball team
depends on its loyal supporters, so
debating in this school will depend
on your enthusiasm, support, and
poise, logic and independent thought.
willingness to co-operate. Make it
perfectly evident that you realize the
importance of debating as an activ-
ity, the values of which, so manifold,
include the gaining of confidence.
ATHENS THE MOTHER CITY OF
By Vera Goodrich
The lesson taught us by this famous city
Is to regard past men and their deeds
Their ruined shrines in our hearts we
should not hold
As dead and useless limbs upon the tree
The past has made the present, even
The present molds the future of each
great nation ;
There is no portion of our earth we can
That can compare with her for inspi-
One lofty sentiment begets another one,
One valid deed inspires a second to its
While one sublime achievement known to
be well done,
Shall be a stepping stone to far more
Now in this ancient city, not so far away,
Were born the masterpieces of the
And Athens claims the memories that
Unique and uncompared by any modern
Toupence — (running into room
breathlessly) "Have you any List-
Yarter — "What do you want it
F. T. — "I just found the cutest
little black and white animal outside,
but I'm afraid he has halitosis."
By Alice V. Cashman
In the first place, propaganda is
that obnoxious influence that makes
us believe that black is white even
though we don't want to at all.
It has the most widespread power
in the world today with the possible
exception of the Ford.
Of course, you all know that
propaganda won the war; and per-
haps you have heard, also, that since
then, it has succeeded in putting
Bingville on the map, a feat which
many consider to be its major
attainment. Likewise, it was propa-
ganda that instilled so great an ap-
preciation of the aesthetic in Jack
Dempsey that he delivered a smash-
ing uppercut to the theory that "the
old order never changeth" by altering
the architecture of his nose. But
propaganda has done even more than
this; it has made us realize its poten-
tialities to such an enormous degree
that we are now hoping to enlist its
services in our effort to persuade
barbers to go to Russia, the land of
Propaganda has induced little
girls who aspire to naturally curly
hair to eat bread crusts; it has done
more for prohibition than did Carrie
Nation, and it has furnished main-
tenance to the Animal Rescue League
ever since the society was founded.
Because propaganda has done so
much, and because it is capable of
doing so much more, we are hoping
to see one day some material tribute
to it as the mainstay of progress and
prosperity. The name inscribed
thereon, like baking powder some-
times in a cake, may exist only in
fancy, but we will see it each time
we look upon the proposed mon-
ument to its success which may be,
— who knows ? — only a much
needed curtain for our assembly hall.
By Thomas Bowler
Old school on the hill you'll always be,
A beacon on life's shore to me.
By your strong, and trusting light,
I'll try my best to do the right.
Out upon life's treacherous sea,
You'll cast your rays and rescue me.
You've molded my mind and character too,
To you, Alma Mater, I'll always be true.
I'll ne'er forget where'er I roam
Across the seas, or far from home.
Your sacred light will ever shine
On my achievments, till I cross the line.
When upon life's shore I stand
Your rays will guide me, to the promised
They'll then grow dim, and fade away
Only to return some joyful day.
ODE TO GRECIAN CIVILIZATION
By Gertrude I. McConville
If you learned Socrates but lived
To give your stately dignity its due —
Or Pericles to raise on yon steep hill
A monument, against a sky-line blue —
Then would your worth be praised and
Shouted from wintry crag to glist'ning
My frail words are like a shuttered room,
A puff of smoke against a giant tree 1
The first link in civilization's chain,
Thou art the very Key to Life ; —
Sublime, serene, art built to stand
The ecstasies of joy, the buffetings of
THE SEE— SAW OF LIFE
By Bernadette Mahoney
Life is a see-saw of ups and downs.
We always hold one end, but the
occupant of the other is changeable.
Some longed-for dream material-
izes. Some difficult task is success-
fully accomplished. Something very
advantageous and pleasurable with
the added thrill of unexpectedness
happens, and we are tilted high up
into the clouds to inhabit our air
castles. We live for the time being
in a house of dreams. Then it is
that we know Good Fortune, Oppor-
tunity, or Luck is seated on the other
end, holding us high with all his
weight and force. But, when our
playfellow yields his place to Mis-
fortune, 111 luck or Calamity, down
we come with a crash, not being able
to outweigh or even balance with
him. Where once we dwelt serenely
and securely in the heights, we now
plod on in the depths.
Thus, it is ever in life, up and
down, down and up. But is it not
life's uncertainty that makes it
worth living ? Isn't the fun of a
see-saw in its ups and downs ?
Then since life is a see-saw, what
would it be without ups and downs ?
I have been told a little secret
about this see-saw of life, and that
is, that there is no need of worry,
no need of grumbling, if Love has
the middle when we have the ends.
McCann — "What are you think-
ing about, Jack?"
Jack — "Oh, something serious."
McCann — "Is it a Normal School
Jack — "I said something serious."
WHERE BODIES GO
By A Nownbe Muss
"And are you dead?" old Charon bawled,
"I am, kind sir; that's why I called,
I'm looking for a room and board,
Come! Let me in! Untie that chord!"'
Old Charon pulled his craft "on :
My soul hopped in and Charon cried,
"The craft's too heavy with thy shell,
Thou'lt need it not, methinks, in Hell.
Cast it overboard, I say;
You'll swamp us both if you delay!"
My soul it threw me in the Styx —
I sank a mile and then sank six
To where the slimy fishes play
Leagues beneath the light of day.
A thousand other husks like mine
Lay pickling in the reeking brine.
Great Jove! I had not looked for t 1
And Jove, in that kind way of his,
Lets me sleep away the time
In the writhing, reeking brine.
Each aeon I awake and see
The fishes eating holes in me.
I'm pickling in the river Styx,
Below the surface, a mile and six.
TWO LITTLE LEAVES
By Grace M. Carr
Two little leaves of autum,
Were whirling in the sun,
Laughing and dancing together
For their summer work was done.
The ice winds blew, and the cold hail too,
But what see we under the cover?
Two little leaves from off the trees,
Snuggled close to each other.
J. Kiley — "Say, do you know.
our waitress insulted me!"
Phelps — "How so?"
Kiley — "Well. I was eating din-
ner, and she handed me a napkin.
Believe me, I told her I knew when
to use a handkerchief, without being
By Vera Goodrich
The world was full of things I
loathed. Everywhere was error
beckoning his brawny finger to me.
I shuddered. A clammy chill danc-
ed the minuet ten times over,, beside
the walls of my spinal column — all
to the tune of the discordant harp
strings of my once calm nerves.
Nothing was harmonious with my
spirit. Why should I, alone, out of
millions of others be so maliciously
Then — ah blessed moment —
what a happy thought came into my
tired mind. Why stand all this mis-
ery and grow old while yet so young?
End it all for once and forever!
Without a second's hesitation I
seized the dagger of relief and pierced
my aching heart to the core. How
my very soul did bleed! But ah.
'twas comfort beside the heathen
misery I had been enduring. When
the last drop of bitter aversion had
trickled its wicked way to its de-
struction I took a long, refreshing
drink from the cup of Life held out
to me by no other than Lady Fancy
I was changed in an instant! As I
looked about me I saw a vast mead-
ow, beautifully dotted with exquisite
flowers painted in every hue with
Nature's selection of harmonious
colors. But. as I gazed again I saw
that the meadow was bounded on
the north by hate, on the east by
lust, on the south by fear, on the
west by the foamy rapids of the
river of ever flowing trouble and
the island of misery. How beautiful
was this handiwork of God to be
surrounded by such erroneous things.
I would that I could build a huge
wall, lined with pure gold, and in-
dole this charming spot in the
valley before the germs from its
wicked enviroment should eat their
way into the peaceful enclosure.
My inner-self began to challenge
me, "Why stand idle and wish so
easy a thing? Take hold of the
plow of opportunity and make the
furrow for your heart's desire.''
Hesitatingly I obeyed, for in my
changed condition I dared not err
in the sight of my inner conscious-
Twenty long years passed ere the
last brick was laid in the wall of
salvation. I, alone, had made it,
each tiny brick, each row upon the
other, each turn and even the one
and only golden gate at the entrance
which I bad taken especial care to
put on the east side of the beautiful
meadow so that the first rays of the
early morning sun would shine
through the golden rods and send
warmth and sunshine into the little
valley. But were those years spent
in misery? Ah no, never had I been
so happy. Every moment added
more joy to my life, more inspiration
to my thoughts, and more kindness
to my heart.
I looked at my work and "saw
that it was good," so I sat down
to rest. But my inner-self again
whispered to me, "Don't waste your
precious moments. Your work is
hardly yet begun. Turn you now
to the meadow, see the flowers beck-
oning to you? Why sit you here in
idleness when duty bids you come?"
I arose. A new song was in my
heart and lo! ere another year had
passed, a highway of sparkling gems
had been laid through the very center
of my property. No street, even in
Paradise could ever be so beautiful.
I looked at it again and "saw that it
From kindly deeds, happy
thoughts and cheerful smiles I shaped
more bricks, for now I was going to
build a city. A city in my little
valley, safely excluded from all the
sins of the wicked, weary world, by
a thick high wall. A city where
only love could dwell. Not one germ
of wickedness could take root and
grow within the golden wall.
Diligently I worked for many
more years. As I now recollect,
first I constructed a church — neither
of creed nor scripture — but a church
of love, the dome of which rose far
above the highest mountain ever
molded. I made it thus so that the
spectrum cast by its dazzling stones
would attract weary souls like mine
from the evil world. It was a beau-
tiful structure and angelic were the
lessons learned within its walls. By
far it was the most important part
of the whole city.
Then there were factories, not
smoky, dingy buildings, but beau-
tiful ones with flowers in their win-
dows and everywhere were rays of
sunshine. No pay did the workers
get except for the common good of
the city, for what was the need of
temptation within so pure a place?
Every kind of clothing was made in
our factories and all of our food
was raised on our side of the golden
wall. By providing all of our ne-
cessities ourselves we could weave
love in every article and have noth-
ing from any foul source.
Our schools were of the highest
type. The personality of any of our
teachers alone was enough to make
us grown-ups almost wish we were
children so that we might go to
school. Never was a cross word
spoken to any child and I'm sure
that never did any pupil say ill
things about their instructors.
Our homes — ah wonderful places
of charm. Each building was of
pure gold both on the inside and out,
and golden were the minutes which
were spent in making them more
Amusement? Why, we were so
happy within ourselves that we need-
ed no outside stimulant for joy.
Laws? There were no hard and
fast rules laid down by our city
officials, and none did we need for
our law was greater.
Along every path and street in
our city one could find rose bushes
beautifully adorning every fence and
wall. They were a new kind of rose
with gorgeous, fragrant blossoms,
and strange to say, though it is true,
not a thorn could be found on any
Every day we went to the golden
gate to welcome any strangers who
might wish admittance, but only a
pure heart could pass through that
wonderful gate and into eternal hap-
piness. Many were turned sadly
away. Some would come again at
a later date and then be admitted.
Others were never seen nor heard
from again. We were so happy with-
in our little city of purity and hope
that when we asked for an appro-
priate name for it, with one accord,
ten thousand voices breathed
By Gerd Aage Gillhoff
"Tears, idle tears, I know not what they
Tears from the depth of some divine
Rise to the heart and gather to the eyes,
In looking on the happy Autumn fields,
And thinking of the days that are no more"
So Tennyson sighs lachrymosely
in "The Princess." The bosom of
the diseuse heaves emotionally, the
women hasten infinitesimal hand-
kerchiefs across their tear-stained
faces, and fat men shake their pen-
dulous stomachs. A touching man-
ifestation of "Weltschmerz," though
Stephen Crane, if present at the
delivering of the recitation, would
undoubtedly exclaim, "Swill!" and
H. L. Mencken, Tishposh! Bum-
Tears are indeed invaluable to the
poet, the dramatist, and the novelist.
The prodigal son must inevitably
burst into tears after a long list of
vagaries, when he realizes his mis-
takes, and takes the straight and
narrow path to salvation. The am-
bitious young man weeps when the
vanity of all human wishes is re-
vealed to him. The heroine cries
and cries when her lover turns false,
and spends the rest of her life with
an old maiden aunt, watering a ger-
anium pot, knitting, and supervising
a few hens. With what have tears
not been compared! They are the
dewdrops, pearls, diamonds. I should
be more observant and thus more
original in my comparisons: one
might call them amethysts, carbunc-
les, onyxes, topazes, rubies, agates,
turquoses, amber glass, resin,inspis-
sated turpentine, perfume from Wool-
worth's castor oil. Authors have
an almost unexplored field here.
Do you remember Heine's poem
in which he says that he kneeled
before his beloved, and drank from
her hands, the tears falling from her
eyes. My version of the third stan-
^'1 saw them fall upon your hands,
And I fell upon me knees:
Since then I've been inflicted with
What's called the hibes-jibes."
We all know Chopin's "Prelude in
D flat." There is an interesting
story told in connection with it, for
the authenticity of which I cannot
vouch. While at Majorca, Chopin
was alone when a terrific thunder-
storm broke out. Being hyper-
sensitive, he had this strange dream.
A sea nymph sat near him, playing
a beautiful melody on the flute, while
he was lying at the bottom of a
deep ocean, and drops fell on his
breast at regular intervals. These
became heavier, and heavier, louder,
and louder, until he no longer heard
the music. The piece comes to a
crashing climax when Chopin real-
izes that the drops are the tears of
his deceased friends, weeping for him.
Dr. Andress would probably say
Chopin was on the road to insanity.
And he was.
Some composer ought to write a
symphony of tears. Why didn't
Tschaikowsky do it? I nominate
Mr. Rachmaninoff for this "job",
having heard his musical poem after
Bocklin's picture — "The Island of
the Dead." With this, and his pro-
gram music to Poe's lugubrious
'The Bells," such a bawl compo-
ould form a most effective
is reminds me of an i
at a concert, during which I sat near
an old lady, listening to an obese
oprano who tried very hard to sing.
When she came to a group of modern
Russians, and started to moan/'Oh,
cease thy singing, maiden fair!'' i
spinster — I'm sure she was one —
robbed audibly. Finall OL'e to
leave, whisp* T can't stand it
any longer!" I quite agreed with her.
Oh. great is the diversity of te
We have tears of affection, most use-
ful for one's standing, pocket-book,
rid countless reasons,
ou ever hear of a p
candidate who o over helmed
ven him in his
hoE • . ' rept — crocodile
tears? There are tears of pity which
• 03 e of the pan learns
that pity is no- >nomou
• : svm-
ent and of sentimen-
tality, of impotent anger, o f love and
of suicidal reflections, and — most
wonderful of all kinds — tears of
I always get out of the way of
tears when I possibly can. While
people were weeping over "Over the
Hill" and "Where is My W T andering
Boy Tonight?" I was rude enough
to giggle and even laugh loudly when
I saw these pictures; but then I'm
not human. I actually did feel water
in my eyes when I saw "Beau Brum-
mel," but it never developed into
tears. Once when I was very young,
I slapped a girl on the back. Im-
mediately she burst into crying, and
threatened to tell her ma what I
had done; but, instead of doing so,
she just continued howling. Now I
why. Since then I have spent
many hours on this subtle question:
- I innocent then, or merely dumb?
Several years ago, after a heated
'anient, I called another girl
(young lady, I suppose! ) a dish ra,^.
She, too, resorted to tears, and prob-
ably expected me to atone for mv
crime. How? Hm, mm, mm!
But I didn't, and she hasn't spoken
to me . c ince. Not that I mind.
H a v e I not rhapsodized lonu r
►ugh on this stimulating subject?
I hear a universal "Yes!" Much
more could be said, but, as you h?
p-obably seen by now, this is not a
ertation, not a scientific treatise.
Yet I hope it has stirred in you
mcient interest to do reference
work: make it your project, and
use all humanity for bibliographv.
Study the iniquity, the beauty, the
tguor of tears! But be careful
you don't emerge a sob-sister or a
By Katherlne Boyle
On the night of the tnirty-hrst of
October at seven o'clock, the annual
Halloween Party, given by the mem-
bers of the J. H. S. IV class was
held at the Normal Sc- ool
The good time began by the walk
through the darkened subway. After
everyone had gone through the
mysterious subwaj*, an entertain-
ment was held in the Practical Arts
A^semblv Hall. This consisted o:
a ghost story, ghost dances, and
songs. We then went to the Normal
Hall Library, which was pleasingly
decorated in orange and black ana
other Sj'inbols of the Halloween
season. Here a grand march was
held and dances and stunts also took
place, which caused great merriment.
At ten o'clock, the students all
lined up and marched downstairs to
the lobby where refreshments con-
sisting of doughnuts and sweet cider
were served. While they were lined
up waiting to be served the songs,
"Go Get a Pail" and "The Bear
Went Over the Mountain" could be
heard all over the buik.i.
After refreshments, they again
went to the library where more
dancing and stunts were held until
We had among the group a number
of guests of the alumni, who came
back to get acquainted. All who
attended the party very much en-
joyed it, and give thanks to the
members of the J. H. S. IV class.
By Mary Carmody
It was a very dark night, in the
latter part of November. There was
mystery in the air. Everyone was
tense with excitement, for there was
to be a Masquerade Party.
At eight o'clock the young people
thronged into the lobby and in groups
they came into the Ball Room.
W T hat a beautiful picture they made!
There were Pilgrims, and Puritans,
Fairies, Dancers, Farmerettes, Farm-
ers, Spark Plugs, and Old Fashioned
Boys and Girls, all masked.
The music commenced and the
boys and girls danced several num-
bers. The revelers were asked to
form in line for the grand march.
Soon they started to march and the
sight was one of beauty and not a
little amusement. After the grand
march, prizes were awarded for the
best and funniest costumes. Danc-
ing was resumed for a while and
then refreshments were served.
After this the young people resumed
DORM GIRLS' PARTY
Palmer Hall presented a true hol-
iday aspect on the night of Decem-
ber fifteenth. In one corner of the
reception room stood the tree, with
its own natural beauty, further en-
hanced by drapings of silver and
glistening globes, roseate from the
secluded light in the background.
When study hour was over and
the clock said eight, a jostling crowd
of boys and girls, hurried into the
reception room to wait for Santa.
Occasional whiffs from pine bran-
ches suggested the festiveness of the
party. Laughter and kid talk bub-
bled on every side. Then there was
a quell in the sea of merriment.
Little Helen Collins was going to
sing, and Essie Boyle was to play
for her. Her child voice trembled
on E flat, but she held it bravely
and when she finished, the applause
The next soloist was Mary Car-
mody who sang about 'Thantie
Clauthe." Again there was a loud
applause, as blushing Mary took her
May Elass and "Bobbie" Dillon
reminisced about school days, in a
most graceful fashion. Then a screen
in one corner of the room was drawn
back, showing Santa's workshop,
how busy his helpers were on Xmas
Eve! What humor vollied from one
to another as they hammered away!
Then the good old Saint came in,
and with the help of his kind wife,
filled his pack and started for F. N.S.
In almost no time he was here,
surrounded by his children. He dis-
tributed gifts to all. On each present
was a little jingle, which the receiver
Refreshments were brought in, and
every kiddie sulked when she was
told that the party ended at ten and
she must hustle off to bed.
PARTY OF THE WOMEN'S
By Mildred Marble
The Women's Athletic Association,
a new name for the organization
known as the Girls' Athletic, held
its first party this year on November
twenty, at three thirty o'clock.
All members were of course invited,
and many attended wearing their
gym costume. The first part of the
evening was spent in the gymnas-
Here the players of different sports
gave their yell and entertained the
onlookers with a stunt representing
their accomplishments. For example,
in a certain sport the highly success-
ful hockey game played with brooms
for hockey sticks and a basket ball
for the hockey puck.
At the close of the stunt perform-
ances, prizes were awarded to the
teams which in all respects most de-
At five twenty-five o'clock, the
girls were dismissed to dress for din-
ner which lasted until six, when the
The aim of this party, beside being
a successful climax to the fall sport
season, was to bring the Junior and
Senior girls together and to give
them a chance to become better
n IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.IIIIIIII ITIWITl
n q q Binn q d q q cnno d n CEZinnsniEEHi ci cj
A strong body is one of man's greatest assets
inn ^ — 'innnnnnnnnor
jgy John McNally
The basketball season is upon us.
The first call for candidates for the
Normal team brought out twenty-
five young men. Of these Captain
Scott, Leland, Roche, and Hilbert
are letter men from last year's team.
The prospects for a successful season
took on a most rosy aspect, when it
was learned Coach Clarence Aminott
of the Fitchburg High School, recog-
nized as one of the best coaches of
basketball in New England, had been
secured to coach the Normal team.
Of the newcomers, McDonnell and
Phelps of North Adams, Kruszyna
of Adams, Dyer of Clinton, Riordan
of Worcester, and Fitzgerald, former
star of the Worcester Trade, looked
most promising. The schedule as
arranged by Manager John McNally
is an exceedingly hard one. It is
hoped, however, considering the ma-
terial on hand and the excellent
coach, that Normal will have one of
the best teams in the history of the
The schedule is as follows:
Dec. 13, 1924
Normal vs. Northeastern at Boston.
Dec. 18, 1924
University of Vermont vs. Normal at
Jan. 3, 1925
Boston College vs. Normal at home.
Jan. 10, 1925
Lowell Textile vs. Normal at Lowell.
Jan. 17 1925
Alumni vs. Normal at home.
Jan. 24 1925 Open
Jan. 31, 1925
Cushing Academy at Cushing.
Feb. 7, 1925
St. John's Prep vs. Normal at
Feb. 14, 1925
Dean vs. Normal at Franklin.
Feb. 21, 1925
Andover vs. Normal at Andover.
March 10, 1925
Keene Normal vs. Normal at Keene.
Bridgewater Normal vs. Normal at
Gentsch — "How is everything in
Stone — "About the same as I left
it, I guess."
By Kitty Wilcox
The following officers of the
Women's Athletic Association were
elected at a meeting held on Sept-
ember 29, 1924:
Mary Marsh President
Mary Lewis Vice President
Grace Brown Secretary
Alice Woods Treasurer
Kitty W'ilcox Tennis Leader
Rosamond O'Neil Hike Leader
Jessie Wood Cheer Leader
On October 14, 1924, a new point
system for the organization was ex-
plained by the president. After
some discussion it was unanimously
voted to accept this system and to
adopt the name "Women's Athletic
Association", instead of U G i rl s '
At this same meeting Mr. Clancy
spoke of the proposed new athletic
field and of the football game be-
tween St. Anselm's and Fitchburg
Normal School, which was a benefit
game to raise funds for the field.
He suggested that the Women's Ath-
letic Association donate one-half the
price of a ticket for each girl and
each girl be assessed the other half.
This proposition was voted on and
accepted unanimously. The question
of raising the dues to $2.00 a year,
thus entitling each girl to a season
!;et from the Men's Athletic Asf >-
ciation was discussed and was finally
voted on 2nd accepted.
The Women's Athletic Association
plans to do a great deal this year,
and with the co-operation of all the
girls will have achieved no doubt
as great success as has attended the
activities of the organization in for-
By Kitty Wilcox
The tennis season opened this fall
with a great deal of enthusiasm
displayed both by the men and
women students of the Normal
School. Every day there could be
seen on the courts ambitious players
aspiring to become "champs" like
Tilden or Wills.
A large number of girls chose
tennis as their major fall sport, and
those who were not familiar with
the game attempted to learn it.
On account of the great demand
for the courts a tennis book was
hung in the lobby, wherein all those
desiring to play could sign and make
their reservations for courts.
A tournament for men and v/omen
is being planned for spring, and it
is expected that a great deal of en-
thusiasm and interest will be man-
ifested in this event.
Twinkling Star !
As rose-hued dewdrops never mar
But beautify the way
Your gleams in azure sky now are
O Twinkling Star.
O Twinkling Star !
A glory at the end of day,
While the minstrel low to his guitar
Sings sweetest song 'neath your bright ray,
O Twinkling Star.
Don't ever try:
To be a salesman like Jimmie Smith,
To be as pompous as "Sully,"
To have a wave like Scottie's,
To be as funny as Muggsie,
To be an orator like Davenport,
To be as witty as Joe Reardon,
To be an athlete like Rocky,
To be as good looking as the Sheik,
To be an actor like Fitzy,
To play tennis like "Prof." Conry,
To be as quiet as Margaret
To be as pretty as Marion Suttcliffe,
To be a monologuist like Betty
To debate like Gert McConville,
To dress like Irene Shea,
To dance like "Zo" Masiedo,
To be as jolly as Iky Lezotte,
To "teach" like Gert Handlin,
To be as sweet as Helen Devaney,
To blush like Rachel Murray.
To be as constant as Eleanor Pratt,
To be as easy-going as Mary Lewis,
To sing like Mr. Clancy,
To be as lovely as Mrs. Still,
To have a geographical collection
like Miss Webster's,
To be as humorous as Mr. Har-
To write as many books as Mr.
To draw like Miss Lamprey,
To remember as many facts as Mr.
TO FIND A BETTER SCHOOL
THAN F.N. S.
It can't be done.
IMPRESSIONS WE JUNIORS
RECEIVED OUR FIRST WEEK
AT F. N. S.
Things we Juniors will never forget.
The drinking (?) water.
The free instead of study period.
The principal's kindness in telling us
we were our own masters here
A mail box for each of us.
The correct (?) time-keeping clocks
in every room,
That complicated program on the
on the bulletin board,
Our questions about the classes and
The dividing of our class and sep-
aration of pals,
The dorm girls and commuters.
Which was which ?
The scarcity of men,
Our first glimpse of the shiek,
The lounging chair in the lobby,
That professional feeling,
Scottie's wave and knickers,
Marion Suttcliffe's head bands,
Mary Foster's hair,
JJC JJC 5JC 5JC
McDonnell — "Say, Major, if you
were rich, what would you want
most of all?"
Major — "An alarm clock with a
* * * *
Mr. Harrington: "Name an Era of
Good feeling in America."
V. F. R. — "The Whiskey Re-
^c H« 5ft *
J. O. — "He said he was dying to
M. M.— "Wouldn't that be a fun-
ny way to die?"
1st student — "What is your idea
of a plausible excuse?"
2d student — "One that makes
Mr. Morrill have sympathy for you."
* * * *
Huck — "How was the party?''
Tim — "Terrible. Everyone was
at school the next day."
FAMOUS SAYINGS BY FAMOUS
Major — Take your time fellows,
take your time!
Huck — Oh, gee, Lets play
Sheik — "I love that little girl."
Fitzy — One, six, two, fish and
Cap — I'm the only bachelor.
Stebbins — And that ain't maybe.
Rabouin — Gee, it's tough to be
Dolan — I'm Irish and I'm proud
Toupence — No, I'm too much of
Leland — I've done that, too.
Pinney — The seniors are a bluff.
Healey — Well, my brother Hen-
Riordan — Alia Bulla, Balla Bulla.
Sullivan — Give me a cigarette.
Bowler — The barbers are on a
Devlin — Look-out, or I'll knock
you down to my size.
Sheehan — Playing "Postoffice."
Mr. Smith — Is there anybody
G. Talcot — I'll help you.
* * * *
Henry Becklund — (at box office)
"Two tickets, please."
Ticket seller. — "What date?"
Henry— (absently) "Mary."
* * * *
Joe Rabouin — "Scottie," have you
tried out the newest steps?"
Scottie — "No, are they any softer
than the fire escape?"
* * * *
Cap Akeley — Well, let's cum t'
Bowler went to a dance last week.
He was dancing with a nice young
girl. After they had been dancing
for a while, she said. "I am getting
dizzy from dancing." Tom said, "You
had better come out on the veranda
and sit down with me for a while."
The girl said, "Oh, I am not quite as
dizzy as that yet.
* * * *
Jim Keilty — "Stan," why is a
notebook like a girl?"
Stan — "I don't know; why?"
J. K. — "Because everyone should
have one of his own and not be
borrowing the other fellows'."
Mr. Randall says he is pleased to
hear that Scott, Leland, and Rabouin
used many Sunday afternoons this
fall studying flowers.
* * * *
Miss Sutcliffe, Miss Brewster,
Miss Butler, Miss Hutchings, Miss
Blaisdell, Miss Goodrich, and Miss
Saltzman make one think of a crowd
of Normal School boys at a burlesque
Miss Stockwell — "How's that?"
Miss Sutcliffe — "You always find
them in the front seats ! "
* * * *
We would like to announce that
Miss Helen Cooke, who is a pupil
of this school, recently won a quick
speaking contest conducted by the
English Department of the State and
the Remington Rapid Machine Gun
Congratulations, Miss Cooke!
We would like to announce that
"Jerry" Gingras, Jake Smith, Jack
Healey, and Wink Hurlburt will com-
pete in a bow-legged contest. The
winner will be given the privilege
of attempting to capture a greased
pig in the gymnasium on the after-
noon of the Faculty — Grammar
Master Basketball game. Since all
desire efficient judges, they have de-
cided that the judges shall be as
Accuracy of angles — Mr. McLean
Balance — Miss Conlon
Beauty — Miss Lamprey
Flexibility — Miss McDermott
This is positively free of charge.
4C ' SfC 3^ 3fS
Mrs. Hilbert — "Dear Editor: My
husband is out every night, and I
am very lonely. Would you suggest
something for me to do?"
Editor — "Send us your address."
* * * *
Ginger — "What did Joe Burke do
when Janet wouldn't kiss him out
on the lake last night?"
Hazel — "Paddled her back."
Ginger — "Oh, the rough thing!"
Sheik — "Heavens, man, but that
suit is too big for you!"
Quirk — "That's all right, I come
Sheik — "What do you mean?"
Quirk — "I'm a bigger man there
than I am here."
Sheehan — "Friedman, the way
you swing that hammer reminds me
Friedman — " Why?"
Sheehan — "Because you never strike
twice in the same place."
* * * *
That charming little book written
by Mr. Leon Yarter on, "How to
make love," or Personal Reminis-
cences of an Expert" is reported to
be having a very large sale.
* * * *
Shingle on Gay Strepek's Door:
"I will guarantee to make you
look like what you don't, but would
like to, for fifty cents.
* * * *
Mr. Harrington, (In a sympathetic
tone) — "I can't imagine anything
more dreadful than a man without
Mae Blass — "Oh! I can. Im-
agine a country without a man.."
* * * *
The gum chewing girl and the cud
There is a difference we will allow.
What is the difference — ? Oh, I
have it now,
It's the thoughtful look on the face
of the cow.
* * * *
Mr. Harrington — "Why, in the
colonial days, they were so modest
they even put skirts over the legs
of the chair. Isn't that so, Mr.
Mr. Parkinson — "Well, I don't
know about that, but I've seen them
in other places."
Miss Williams — "Is there anyone
here whose name wasn't called and
who is absent? If so, will he please
raise his hand?"
And half the class looked about to
see how many would raise their
P. S. I wasn't there.
Any girl can be gay in a classy
In a taxi, they all can be jolly,
But the girl worth while, is the girl
who can smile,
When you're taking her home in
Miss Conlon — "Did you finish
that tray yourself, Mr. Cavanaugh?"
Major — "No."
Miss Conlon — "Who did it?"
Major — "Santa Claus."
* * * *
Ten years from now — Bowler (J.
H. S. A. C.) to football squad.
"How many of you have ever heard
of Henry Healey?"
Squad — (Perfectly silent)
Bowler — "What! You have never
heard of Henry Healey? Why his
brother Jack, etc."
* * * *
The A. A. Meeting was getting ex-
Mr. Dolan — "I maintain that
Stebbins is out of order."
Stebbins — "How am I out of or-
Dolan — "Consult a veterinary.
Perhaps he can tell you."